Purgatory
by Xx.LittleMissPerfect.xX
Summary: "Because the blood of the covenant is thicker than water of the womb. Teddy Lupin had a family." Seventeen years old and orphaned, Teddy realizes that Harry and Ginny were his parents all along. Plenty of angst, but everyone gets a happy ending! (Pinky promise, cross my heart)
1. Stardust

**Disclaimer:**

 **Nope, still not JKR. I don't own Harry Potter, or the lovely poem below this** _ **.**_

* * *

 _Once there were two women who barely knew each other,_

 _One is your birth mum and the other is your mother._

 _Two different lives, shaped to make yours one,_

 _One became your guiding star; the other became your sun._

 _The first gave you emotions; the second calmed your fears._

 _One saw your first smile; the other dried your tears._

 _And now you ask me through your tears,_

 _The age-old question through the years;_

 _Heredity or environment, which are you the product of?_

 _Neither, my darling. Just two different kinds of love_.

* * *

 ** _~Spring Break~_**

 ** _•10th March 2015•_**

* * *

The stars were especially bright tonight.

Teddy Lupin was lying outside the Potter Cottage in Godric's Hollow, his Godfather's home. The grass rose up tall around him, seemingly sheltering him from the harsh wind. But it didn't; Teddy was chilled to bone. He didn't notice.

He thought about a muggle myth he'd heard. One that said that good, virtuous people become constellations after death, that their souls live in the stars for their loved ones to look up at.

Teddy thought about his father, faced with so much hatred and prejudice all throughout his life, considering himself too damaged, too broken, to be worthy of love. He thought about his mother, who proved him wrong, rushing into battle for her husband, only to die beside him.

He wondered if they deserved a place in the sky. Teddy wondered why, _why neither of them had thought about him._

He'd wager that his hair was bubblegum pink right now.

"Teddy! Mum's calling you inside."

He looked back to see a small figure running towards him. Lily, her red hair flying in the wind. She was wearing her Weasley jumper, ridiculously oversized, complete with a huge, capital L and two pink pygmy puffs on the front.

"Tell mu— I mean, tell aunt Ginny- that I'll be inside in a minute." He caught himself just in time. _She's your mum, Lily, not mine._

She was shaking her head at him and grinning. "You'll take longer than a minute, Teddy, you always do." Lily promptly flopped down on the grass next to him.

* * *

It was a full moon night. Teddy looked at it with hatred, his father's worst fear, his greatest nightmare, his _boggart_. The full moon that promised pain and suffering and dark, desolate places, that reminded him of the monster he was.

He didn't usually feel this empty inside, but today was March 10th. Remus Lupin would turn 55 today, if he was alive. But he wasn't; his father was 38 years old, and he would forever be 38.

"Did you know that good people turn into stars when they die?" Lily whispered.

Teddy swallowed painfully. "No I didn't, Lily. Who told you that?"

"Dad told me." She said matter-of-factly. "He said that Grandpa and Grandma Potter are up there, watching us."

Of course Harry understood, he always did. He understood why Teddy needed to be alone on some particularly disastrous full moon nights; Why he cried when his patronus turned out to be a wolf; Why he sometimes stood in front of a mirror, clutching a worn-out photograph of his father, carefully turning his eyes hazel and hair sandy brown; Why he never really understood why they died, _why they left him._

"Teddy?" Lily said, softly, tentatively. She was looking at him, eyes suspiciously bright.

"Yes?"

"I think your parents are there too, in the sky. Your other parents, of course, not Mum and Dad….."

"How'd you know I was thinking about them?"

"Your hair is pink, like Aunt Dora's." She said, pointing to his head.

"Ah….I knew it."

"You look like one of Rose's Barbie dolls." Lily was giggling now.

Teddy changed his hair to neon green, and his eyebrows to red and purple, which only made Lily laugh harder. He turned his hair into seven different colours all at once, sticking his tongue out at her. Her laughter rang out pure and true and honest. Lily was practically rolling on the ground now.

And just like that, Teddy grinned.

He smiled at Lily, this seven-year-old girl, who had no doubt whatsoever that her parents were his parents too, that he was part of her family. He smiled because she thought that his _other_ parents were kind and loving and good; because even though they looked absolutely nothing alike, she was his _sister._

Suddenly the air seemed warmer and the sky was brighter, and all was right in the world.

* * *

" _Edward Remus Lupin!"_

Teddy winced. Aunt Ginny was mad at him, _really mad._ He could tell by her use of his real name.

"What in the name of Merlin were you doing outside? In _December_! When it's positively _freezing_! Practically _snowing_! Wait until your father hears about this—"

Aunt Ginny sounded remarkably Molly-like in that moment, eyes blazing and voice high-pitched with worry. Her husband's lips twitched at the corners, no doubt remembering Ron and Fred and George receiving a similar talking-to from Mrs. Weasley.

"—going to catch your death of a cold. I'd be surprised if he doesn't go down with the flu—"

It seemed to go on forever. Once she was done with Teddy and Lily — _Lily Luna Potter, you were supposed to go fetch your brother, not fall sick with him—_ Aunt Ginny sank down into a chair, head dropping into her hands. Harry appeared to be holding back laughter with extreme difficulty, and Teddy had never been happier.

The thought made him feel strangely elated, that he had a mother who _cared_ , so much. Teddy Lupin was Ginevra Potter's first-born son, even if he wasn't her own.

Because blood of the covenant is thicker than water of the womb. Teddy Lupin had a family.

 _To be continued..._

* * *

 **A/N: Finally finished the first chapter! It's astonishing how long it took me to write a 1000 words. The pains of a perfectionist are dreadful indeed :( I promise to update soon! Reviews are love (hint, hint)**

 **X×LittleMissPerfect×X**


	2. Nightmares

**A/N: Hope I didn't take too long... Here's the second chapter for all you lovely readers.**

* * *

 _"To weep is to make less the depth of grief"_

 _~William Shakespeare_

* * *

Five years ago…

 _Teddy's grandmother was dead._

 _He let the truth sink in deep. Andromeda Tonks, his grandmother, the last of his blood who cared about him, was dead. She would never smile at her grandson again, or tell him that he was so much like his mother, or hold him when the nightmares wouldn't let him sleep. Now he was truly an orphan._

 _How many more people would be taken from him?_

 _And then Harry was there, grabbing Teddy by the shoulders, hugging him and quietly saying 'it's alright, we're here... you're okay now'. Teddy's first incoherent thought was 'Dad?' But it wasn't Remus, it was Harry, his Godfather._

 _Aunt Ginny was next, kissing his forehead and crying unabashedly, saying 'Teddy, my baby...my poor baby'; It made him cry too._

 _Teddy imagined that they were quite the sight, three of them knotted together, Teddy's hair alternating between messy black and bright red, him laughing and crying all at once, thanking his lucky stars for these two people._

 _Teddy let himself forget, just for one night. He forgot that he was twelve years old, that he was an orphan, that Harry and Ginny were not his parents, not really. Teddy forgot, that he was not their son._

 _And then he forgot to remember_.

* * *

 _ **~Summer Break~**_

 _ **•20th July 2015•**_

* * *

Teddy woke up drenched in cold sweat. He knew that sleep wouldn't come now, trying would be futile. Instead he got up quietly, carefully, trying not to wake James, who was sleeping in a bed opposite to him.

He made himself a cup of tea, knowing that coffee would not be a good choice when he was trying to sleep. Teddy liked the way it burned down his throat and warmed him up from the inside.

"Ted, I can't sleep."

Teddy almost spit out his honey-and-lemon, inside-warmth herbal tea (which would've been an unthinkable loss, thank Merlin he didn't.) He whirled around to a nine-year-old boy with messy, black hair and green eyes. _Albus._

" _Holy Helga_. Albus, what are you still doing up?"

Teddy got a well-deserved eye roll. "I told you, I can't _sleep._ "

He waited for more, patiently. It seemed to go on forever. Finally Albus muttered, "I keep getting nightmares."

"What sort of nightmares?"

Albus looked up at him, clearly wondering if he was trustworthy enough. Something cleared in his green eyes; it might've been acceptance, Teddy couldn't tell.

"I-It's the same one every time. My first day at Hogwarts and the sorting hat—" He took a ragged breath. "T-The sorting hat screams Slytherin. Not Gryffindor, or even Hufflepuff. It's always Slytherin."

Teddy crouched down in front of the boy who suddenly seemed so little, so vulnerable. He took his smaller hands in his larger ones. "Am I evil, Teddy?"

"Of course you aren't, Al. You're one of the best people I know" He said, as gently as possible.

"Really?" The hopeful note in Albus' voice was painful to hear.

Teddy nodded. "Not all Slytherins are evil. My grandma Andromeda... She was—" His voice broke. "She was beautiful." He was whispering now; Teddy cleared his throat and tried again.

"And then there's Severus Snape. You're named after him, aren't you?" Albus nodded. "Now, I've never met him, but your father told me once that Snape was the bravest man he'd ever known."

"I thought that was Dumbledore… The other man I'm named after." Albus said, wonderingly.

"No, Albus Dumbledore was the craziest." Teddy cracked a smile, hoping that Al would too. Apparently, knowing that he was named after a madman did _not_ help Albus' growing anxiety. His lower lip started trembling, which was never a good sign. _Merlin, I'm terrible at this._

Praying that this would work,Teddy reached out and hugged his brother. Albus' thin arms were around his neck, and soon he was sobbing into Teddy's shoulder. He rocked them back and forth until his sobs turned into hiccups. _Shhh, don't be scared, Al... you'll be fine… I'm here now._

"Albus! Teddy! What are you both doing here?" said James's voice from the kitchen doorway, ending in a yawn. James was pushing his hand through his black hair, his brown eyes half-closed with sleep. Teddy had always thought that Albus was the spitting image of Harry, and Lily was a replica of Aunt Gin, while James was a cross between the two.

Now that Albus was no longer on the brink of tears, Teddy released him. "Nightmares." Albus looked down at floor and mumbled.

Comprehension dawned in James's eyes, so much like his mother's. Albus had already shared his fears with his other brother, it seemed.

"Oh…well, that's fine." Said James hesitantly. He was shifting from one foot to the other, clearly uneasy with the suddenly emotional situation. "I understand, Al, I do. It's just that I woke up and couldn't find Teddy and I was worried—"

Teddy groaned. "I'm the oldest, James. I'm the one who's supposed to worry, not you—"

"You're only five years and eleven months older than me—"

" _James,"_ Teddy sighed."Why you seem to think you're so grown-up and sensible is beyond me—"

" _Ted-dy."_ James stuck his tongue out at him. "It's because I'm more mentally mature than you are."

Teddy rolled his eyes and ruffled James's hair, fondly. "Sure you are, little boy." James huffed indignantly.

A small voice sounded behind them. "Can I sleep in your room tonight?" Albus asked. "Lily's sleeping in Mum's and Dad's room again, and I don't want to be by myself….."

"Of course you can, Albus." Both James and Teddy said at the same time. They looked at each other and grinned.

They all ended up on Teddy's bed, which was the largest. Before Teddy drifted off to sleep, he heard Albus whispering, " _You're the bestest big brother ever, Teddy"_ , quickly followed by James muffled shout, " _Oi! What about me?"_

For the first time that year, Teddy slept without nightmares.

* * *

And that's how Harry found them, the next morning. All three of them curled up and huddled beneath the blanket. James was snoring, Albus was drooling, Teddy seemed to be smiling in his sleep and his hair had unconsciously turned black to match the other two's. Never one to waste an opportunity, Harry had somehow found a muggle camera, and taken the fateful photograph which all three of them claimed to hate.

"Dad, I look absolutely _dreadful._ " James had said.

"You're right, James. You look like your great-uncle Bilius." Aunt Ginny had said, unhelpfully. She was trying to hold back her laughter, and failing spectacularly.

"Wow, thanks Mum."

Lily had taken one look at it and burst out laughing. Then Aunt Ginny had started giggling, and pretty soon everyone was clutching their stomachs, tears streaming down their faces. The dining room echoed with their loud, hysterical, mismatched laughter.

All three of them secretly loved the photograph, even though they would _never_ admit it. Teddy ended up pinning it on his bedroom wall. He looked so much like a Potter in it, it was almost painful. But he wasn't a Potter, he was a Lupin, and remembering that fact was something he owed his parents, for their love, and for their sacrifice. It was the one debt he could never repay.

Next to it was a picture of his _them_ , Remus and Nymphadora Lupin, holding a blue-haired baby in their arms, laughing and smiling as if they'd never been happier. If Teddy looked carefully enough, he could see that the baby had inherited Remus's hazel-green eyes and Tonks's troublemaker grin.

Every time he looked at it, his heart filled with warmth and he was always reminded. This was the stuff of patronuses, this was the true meaning of magic. Most people had only one family.

Teddy Lupin was lucky enough to have two.

 _To be continued..._

* * *

 **A/N: I hope you liked it! Special thanks to everyone who reviewed/followed/favourited my story. I was having a bad day and all that positive feedback really made me smile.**

 **I also wanted to mention that Teddy's birthday is on April 10th. So he's 16 years old in the first chapter and 17 in this one. Just felt that his age was important. Bye...for now.**

 **X×LittleMissPerfect×X**


	3. Valiance

**A/N: I am so, so sorry. I know I haven't updated in 3 months, but I had my exams going on and was super busy. Anyways here's a nice long chapter for you amazing people.**

 **Also, I changed the story title because the other one sounded too corny**

* * *

" _Hope" is the thing with feathers,  
That perches in the soul,  
And sings the tune without the words,  
And never stops at all._

 _And sweetest in the Gale is heard;_  
 _And sore must be the storm_  
 _That could abash the little Bird_  
 _That kept so many warm._

* * *

 ** _~Winter Break~_**

 ** _•December 20th, 2015•_**

* * *

 _Avada Kedavra!_

A flash of green and a spell made of hatred sent Remus crashing down. Another flash and Tonks joins him. A ruined castle floor. A madman's laughter. Curses and hexes and unforgivables.

 _This isn't real this isn't real this is not real._

Teddy knows that he didn't see his parents' deaths; That they didn't happen by Voldemort's hand and that Tonks might not have even reached Remus in time. He _knows_ all this, but it doesn't stop him from rocking back and forth on the cold bathroom floor, or his heart from screaming _you're going to die too._

It doesn't make the slightest bit of sense. But anxiety was always illogical.

He doesn't notice his godfather entering until Harry sits down next to him. Harry did not say anything, did not touch him, just waited patiently until he was finished. Maybe Teddy preferred it this way. This whole ordeal was embarrassing enough already.

"Remus asked me to be your Godfather when I was barely eighteen." Harry began, hesitantly. "I was not thrilled, maybe a bit anxious. Sirius was the best Godfather in the world and… I was not sure I would be. I was frightened." he admitted, and Teddy knew that this was hard for a gryffindor to admit, so he listened carefully.

"I didn't understand why he asked me, when he could have asked somebody older." Harry continued, "but I understand now." He smiled at Teddy; his green eyes were alight with understanding. "You and I… we're alike. I had these too, Teddy."

Teddy shook his head vigorously. "No, we're _not_. You had anxiety attacks because your parents were murdered by Voldemort, and you had the whole wizarding world on your shoulders and Voldemort kept trying to murder you because you were the bloody _chosen one_. And I have them because… because.."

Harry's voice was very quiet when he said, "Because you lost your parents and your grandmother, and you feel that you have no family left. Now you hate yourself because you're hurting, because you think your losses are far less than mine, but you still hurt far more than I do."

That was so accurate he _felt_ it, somewhere inside his chest. Teddy didn't trust his voice enough to speak.

"Someone will _always_ be worse off than you are. I saw Professor Longbottom's parents, tortured and crucioed the point of insanity." His voice was so low that Teddy suspected Harry had never told anyone else about this. I was _ashamed_ of these panic attacks and wished they would just go away. But that's not how the heart works"

"One just has to be brave enough, and it goes away on its own." He said.

Teddy laughed bitterly. "There's a reason why I wasn't sorted into Gryffindor."

He'd let out the last demon inside his head, one he hadn't revealed to anyone before. _Cowardice._ The feeling that he had been sorted into Hufflepuff because he just wasn't brave enough for Gryffindor. _The valiant never taste of death but once._ If that was true, he had died many times already.

"Oh no, don't you _dare,_ young man. I've had enough of this shitty Hufflepuff prejudice. House of leftovers, my arse." Harry looked angry now, but also a little tired, like he had endured enough prejudices to last a lifetime.

"In your first year, you chose goodness and empathy over intelligence, cunning and bravery, whether you realised it or not." Harry's gaze was a million miles away, and maybe, just maybe, there was a little twinkle in his eyes. "And it is our choices that make us who we truly are"

Harry shook his head, snapping back to reality. "Come along now. Enough advising for today. Aunt Ginny's calling you for a quidditch match and she's hell bent on beating me."

Teddy smiled. "How much is she betting this time?"

"Let's just say I'll be a hundred galleons richer."

"Not if I'm on her team, you won't"

That made Harry laugh, so Teddy laughed too. Soon they were laughing hard, both at Aunt Ginny's quidditch fanaticism and at the absurdity of this situation. Two grown men, one seventeen and one middle-aged, huddled in a bathroom corner and clutching their stomachs and laughing.

The middle-aged one stood up and made to leave, wiping tears from his eyes discreetly.

"Harry?"

He turned. "Yes?"

"You're a good father."

Harry smiled, a smile filled with pure warmth and adoration. Teddy suspected that he'd been waiting a long time to hear those words.

* * *

"Get ready to have your arse handed to you, Potter!" Said Chaser Ginevra Potter, previously of the Holyhead Harpies.

"We'll see about that, Weasley." replied Harry. The captain of 'Team Black' grinned like he was born to play quidditch. (And if you asked James Potter, he would say that Harry was.)

'Team Black' consisted of Harry and everyone who had inherited Harry's infamous hair, namely James and Albus. Similarly, 'Team Red' included Ginny, Lily and Teddy, who'd changed his hair to Weasley Red™.

The former Gryffindor seeker and current Hufflepuff seeker assessed each other silently. Lily and Albus, the two keepers, grinned at each other, and Ginny blew the whistle.

(There were no beaters, partly because there weren't enough members, and mostly because Aunt Ginny strictly forbade it.)

The quaffle rose up into the air; the snitch immediately zoomed out of sight. Six brooms kicked off the ground into the sky.

If Lee Jordan was here, he would've proclaimed it a very interesting match indeed—It was Godfather versus Godson, Brother versus Sister, Mother versus Son, a true battle of relationships— but alas, he was not.

James was a born chaser, flying with passion and exuberance. He'd inherited his mother's flair rather than his father's, something Ginny was very proud of. One could tell a lot about a person by the way they flew, and James was Gryffindor right down to his golden core.

Albus, unlike his brother, was a strategist. He adopted tactics and techniques and exploited the rival team's weaknesses to the point where a single quaffle could not get past him. He would make a very good Slytherin one day, Teddy thought, then shook his head at the absurdity of it.

Lily, however, was more of a seeker than a keeper. She was not very good at defending the hoops and turned red every time James scored. Teddy vowed to let her become the seeker next time.

Together, James and Albus were unstoppable. Team black was leading by ninety points. All hope was on Teddy Lupin.

Teddy was desperately scanning the pitch for a telltale glimpse of gold– until he saw it. The snitch was dangerously close to the ground. Teddy took a deep breath and threw caution to the wind. Faster, faster, faster until he couldn't control his descent anymore. He was too fast– he'd miss the snitch- Teddy had to let go. And he did. His fingers let go of the broom and he plummeted down until—

 _Shit_. He crashed. All his bones groaned in protest. Teddy couldn't see or hear or breathe. The world was a blur of dull colours, and it was spinning madly. Until he saw a flash of bright red running over to him. Lily. _We won, Teddy, you did it!_ , she seemed to say (he still couldn't hear) as she jumped up and down and laughed and pulled him off the ground.

Teddy was confused. Something fluttered in his hand. Something gold, shiny and delicate and— _he'd caught the snitch._

And suddenly he's surrounded by people, _his_ people. Albus tackled him to the ground and hugged him tight, James clapped him on the back, said _well done, mate_ very seriously until Teddy laughed and pulled him into the hug too. Aunt Ginny loudly proclaimed _that's my boy, the little red teddy bear who caught the snitch, he's my boy._ Harry looked on, proudly, the way fathers do when they lose to their sons. Their faces are shining with pride and it's _all for him_.

He's overwhelmed and vulnerable and he _still can't breathe_ , but Teddy doesn't care because he feels _loved_. He might've blinked back and he might've whispered _I love you all_ and he doesn't even know if they heard him, because suddenly he's lifting his eyes to heaven, and says, very softly—

 _Thank you._

He is thankful, so very thankful. For his parents who live amongst the stars in heaven, and for those on Earth. In that instant, he felt truly, completely blessed, because anxiety be damned, he was the luckiest person on the planet.

Because Teddy Lupin had _two_ families.

And he loved them both.

* * *

 _~The End~_

* * *

 **A/N: It's finished! I love hearing hearing from you, so tell me what you think :)**

 **I think I'll stick to one-shots from now, byeeeee!**

 **X×LittleMissPerfect×X**


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